Hacking Chinese

A better way of learning Mandarin

Chinese Hackers Hack Hacking Chinese*

这是来自保护中文神秘地位协会的一则重要信息。揭秘中文(Hacking Chinese)已经占据互联网多年,并且严重地威胁到了中文的神秘地位。因此,我们入侵并控制揭秘中文。作者理应受到惩罚,以下是他所犯下的三大罪状:

matrix第一、他将中文列为和其他语言一样的,可被外国人所理解的语言。他完全不了解中文其实是一种并不能被分解的奇幻艺术,一旦将汉字及其结构分解将是对这种古老而神秘的语言的亵渎。中文不仅是一种语言,更是中华文明的精髓,是神圣不可侵犯的。此项罪名是对神圣的亵渎。

第二、作者宣称只要追随其网站,外国人可以改进他们学习中文的方法。这可能会误导读者相信中文实际上是可以被学习的,这显然是错误的,并且这使得无知的外国人对他们的学习过于乐观。纵使有人帮助,跬步前行也难以至千里。此项罪名为虚伪事也。

第三、作者强调当今中文教育方法的失败,并称大部分的课程、老师和教科书并没有提供学习过程的关键。这完全是错误的,中文教育是完美的。外国人之所以屡屡失败的原因不是学习方法,而是学习中文根本就是徒劳的。对外汉语教学的目的是给外国人展示伟大的中华文明。宣称他掌握我们并不知道的中文教学方法犯下了他的第三项罪名:妄自尊大。

综上所述,此网站会立刻被实时监控。从现在开始,只有唐诗宋词八股骈文以及毛主席语录才会被允许发布。已发布文章将会作为罪证,被存档保留以警示后人。

致那些还在执着于学习中文的外国人:你们在浪费你们的时间。去 YouTube 上看那些搞笑视频或者去酒吧浪费人生吧!这里不是你们该来的地方。如果你们不能够迷途知返就回到你们老师和教科书的怀抱中吧!终其一生,你所能学到的也将只是对这种伟大而神秘的语言的永恒的谦卑。

This is an important protection of information from the Association of Chinese mystical status. Secret Chinese (Hacking Chinese) have occupied the Internet for many years, and a serious threat to the mystery of the status of Chinese. Therefore, we invade and control the Secret Chinese. Research should be punished, the following is what he committed three crimes:

First, he will be listed as the Chinese and other languages, and can be understood by foreign language. He did not understand Chinese can not be decomposed in fact a fantasy art, once the characters and structure decomposition would be on this ancient and mysterious language of blasphemy. Chinese is not only a language, it is the essence of Chinese civilization, is sacrosanct. This is a sacred blasphemy charges.

Second, as long as the author claims that follow its website, foreigners can improve their way of learning Chinese. This may mislead the reader to believe Chinese actually can be learned, and this is clearly wrong, and this makes them ignorant foreigners learning too optimistic. Even someone help, small steps forward is difficult to Trinidad. This counts for something too hypocritical.

Third, the authors emphasize the failure of today’s Chinese teaching methods, saying most of the curriculum, teachers and textbooks do not provide critical learning process. This is totally wrong, Chinese education is perfect. The reason why foreigners are not learning methods often fail, but to learn Chinese is simply futile. The purpose of foreign teaching Chinese to foreigners is a great showcase of Chinese civilization. He claimed that we do not know the Chinese master teaching methods committed his third crime: megalomania.

In summary, this site will soon be real-time monitoring. From now on, only stereotyped parallel prose and poetry will be allowed to publish Quotations from Chairman Mao. Published articles will be used as evidence, as a warning to future generations is archived reserved.

Caused by those who are still clinging to foreigners learning Chinese: You’re wasting your time. Go watch those funny YouTube video or go to the bar to waste life! This is not the place you should come. If you are not capable of mending their ways back to your teacher and textbooks to embrace it! Throughout his life, you can learn but will just be great and mysterious language and eternal humility.

April Fool’s Day: This article was posted as an April Fool’s hoax, Hacking Chinese is doing just fine. I have of course spoken about Hacking Chinese with many, many native speakers, teachers and normal people, and I have never had any bad reaction whatsoever. Most Chinese people find it interesting that foreigners are so interested in their language and care so much about how it can be taught to others. This article was produced by first writing a draft in English, then translating it to Chinese and then translating it back to English again using Google Translate. I only changed a few words in the final  English version to make some passages slightly more readable. I advice learners who aren’t advanced against trying ot read the Chinese, it’s much too difficult, and while fun in my opinion, not actually useful. Also check my April Fool’s hoax from 2013.

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2 comments

  1. Birgit says:

    Haha, OK you got me! Here in Germany we call it: Jemanden in den April schicken. And now you would say:”April, April!”.

    1. Olle Linge says:

      I didn’t get you if you figured it out, right? 🙂 I think the title is a bit of a giveaway, if the site was really hacked, the titles would probably have been different, if there was a post at all about it.

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